Freedom for my soul
For all you broken hearted people out there!
Welcome to my blog!
I don´t know about you but I´ve always wanted a place like this to go to and just "vent"....get all of that ache out and just talk to someone. Believe me, I don´t want to nag about this with my friends anymore ´cause they´ve just had enough of all my heartace "shit" through the years...
So I guess to start up is to tell you all a little about myself...I´m a little lovefool, definately and I guess that somewhere within I kind of look for trouble when it comes to relationships. I tend to go for the totally wrong guys and then expect them to be the right ones...Yet I don´t want to blame myself entirely because most of them first turn out to be straight with me and romantic and yap yapyapyap...then after a while they turn out to be cold as ice...You, know when you think that the one you love is a total psycho or just emotionally handicapped? Like...what happened?
So....I am here for you girls and boys...VENT! and let your friends have a breather and put it all down in writing instead....It´s really like therapy. Talking works...sometimes the answers to your problems just pops out of your subconsious. Most of the time you really deep down know what you have to do but you just don´t want to know it..Mind and heart war...don´t you just hate it?
So what is my rep then? Do I have ANY experience to be called the hearbreak pro?
Hahaha....experience...YEA!
My first relationship...I guess I was eleven...it was cute it was kissing it was emotional...but I was the one who broke his heart though...Sorry! After that I totally put my mind to my art work dancing etc and didn´t have many heart problems during my teens....lost my virginity at a late age.
Well I´m pushing fast forward though to my top three heart break stories....which was after I turned 20....20 years of age til present I guess....
I was living with this guy... He was sooo in love with me at first...He just seemed like he had a bit of a drinking problem and when he drank he got awful and used to kick me out in the snow etc....I was so hooked though and as stupid as I was begged him not to break up with me....He had a month of not drinking and the love was all good again...He wanted me pregnant so (stupid me again) I just followed and got pregnant within a few weeks....Time went by everything seemed ok...we were engaged....then he did a 180 on me and started not coming home at night...One day I guess I was 12 weeks pregnant he told me that I had to have an abortion or he would vanish and leave his part of custody to his mother....who I did NOT get along with...I begged him not to make me have an abortion I cried and I begged but no he was totally ice cold...So the day of the abortion he took me to the hospital and just sat there quiet staring...I was still crying and begging....FOOOL!
He had promised to be with me the next couple of days and be supportive but after the abortion I couldn´t find him...He was gone...Left to party out of town and turned of his cellphone for 5 days...When he came home I broke up with him..A couple of months later he was the one calling and begging and it went on like that for 2 years....But he was by then DEAD to me...A couple of years later I found out why he had changed during my pregnancy....Of course it was another woman....Well the woman was only 13 ! yyyyiiiiakkkk!
Next one....A guy I met out partying...cute and everything....He raped me on our first date....No more of that...I wasn´t in love but still he was a creep!
Moving on....The father of my two children....He was unfaithful during my first pregnancy and didn´t tell me until it was too late for me to have an abortion....We worked it out though...
Then I missed one....The one that really stepped on my heart and treated me like a jo jo...knowing all along how I felt but only used me for sex...Sceaming with words like I love you to keep me hanging...The one I felt like I could die for but still hate ....The love hate relationship...
Does anyone know what I am talking about? THE LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP.... Emotionally draining and valleys of suicidal behaviour contra pure bliss!
Your heart can´t handle a rollercoaster like that....
I am bisexual and funny enough girlfriends have never been so much trouble as boyfriends...That I really have to analyze:)
I am here I am listening....
Bring it on!
Vent with me....
I don´t know about you but I´ve always wanted a place like this to go to and just "vent"....get all of that ache out and just talk to someone. Believe me, I don´t want to nag about this with my friends anymore ´cause they´ve just had enough of all my heartace "shit" through the years...
So I guess to start up is to tell you all a little about myself...I´m a little lovefool, definately and I guess that somewhere within I kind of look for trouble when it comes to relationships. I tend to go for the totally wrong guys and then expect them to be the right ones...Yet I don´t want to blame myself entirely because most of them first turn out to be straight with me and romantic and yap yapyapyap...then after a while they turn out to be cold as ice...You, know when you think that the one you love is a total psycho or just emotionally handicapped? Like...what happened?
So....I am here for you girls and boys...VENT! and let your friends have a breather and put it all down in writing instead....It´s really like therapy. Talking works...sometimes the answers to your problems just pops out of your subconsious. Most of the time you really deep down know what you have to do but you just don´t want to know it..Mind and heart war...don´t you just hate it?
So what is my rep then? Do I have ANY experience to be called the hearbreak pro?
Hahaha....experience...YEA!
My first relationship...I guess I was eleven...it was cute it was kissing it was emotional...but I was the one who broke his heart though...Sorry! After that I totally put my mind to my art work dancing etc and didn´t have many heart problems during my teens....lost my virginity at a late age.
Well I´m pushing fast forward though to my top three heart break stories....which was after I turned 20....20 years of age til present I guess....
I was living with this guy... He was sooo in love with me at first...He just seemed like he had a bit of a drinking problem and when he drank he got awful and used to kick me out in the snow etc....I was so hooked though and as stupid as I was begged him not to break up with me....He had a month of not drinking and the love was all good again...He wanted me pregnant so (stupid me again) I just followed and got pregnant within a few weeks....Time went by everything seemed ok...we were engaged....then he did a 180 on me and started not coming home at night...One day I guess I was 12 weeks pregnant he told me that I had to have an abortion or he would vanish and leave his part of custody to his mother....who I did NOT get along with...I begged him not to make me have an abortion I cried and I begged but no he was totally ice cold...So the day of the abortion he took me to the hospital and just sat there quiet staring...I was still crying and begging....FOOOL!
He had promised to be with me the next couple of days and be supportive but after the abortion I couldn´t find him...He was gone...Left to party out of town and turned of his cellphone for 5 days...When he came home I broke up with him..A couple of months later he was the one calling and begging and it went on like that for 2 years....But he was by then DEAD to me...A couple of years later I found out why he had changed during my pregnancy....Of course it was another woman....Well the woman was only 13 ! yyyyiiiiakkkk!
Next one....A guy I met out partying...cute and everything....He raped me on our first date....No more of that...I wasn´t in love but still he was a creep!
Moving on....The father of my two children....He was unfaithful during my first pregnancy and didn´t tell me until it was too late for me to have an abortion....We worked it out though...
Then I missed one....The one that really stepped on my heart and treated me like a jo jo...knowing all along how I felt but only used me for sex...Sceaming with words like I love you to keep me hanging...The one I felt like I could die for but still hate ....The love hate relationship...
Does anyone know what I am talking about? THE LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP.... Emotionally draining and valleys of suicidal behaviour contra pure bliss!
Your heart can´t handle a rollercoaster like that....
I am bisexual and funny enough girlfriends have never been so much trouble as boyfriends...That I really have to analyze:)
I am here I am listening....
Bring it on!
Vent with me....
